Impressions in Lavender
by scribblemyname
Summary: She would have regretted her decision either way. Movieverse
1. first impression: fascination

**Story Summary**: She fell in love ten times.

**Canonical Notes**: Set before _Mandie and the Secret Tunnel_. Accepts both movies as canon, but not necessarily everyone's expressed "presumptions" therein.

**Author's Note**: One of the two things I hated about _Mandie and the Cherokee Treasure_ was the idea that Elizabeth never loved Jim. Especially when it was so obvious to me what could have happened.

Also, to any of my usual readers from other fandoms (read: romy), I _am_ working on writing and betaing, but this was done and I'm just finally getting it posted.

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first impression: _fascination_

She met him at her debutante ball.

James Shaw was about her age, as cordial a gentleman as he ought to be, but with a boyish sense of fun that made her laugh. But it was his older brother, John Shaw, a solemn man in his thirties, that caught her fascination. He told stories to his own peers of his travels to Europe and Africa and even India. He politely included her when she cared to listen.

"Will you return?" she asked at the close of a long evening, trying not to sound as if it mattered.

He hesitated. "Yes."


	2. second impression: surprise

second impression: _surprise_

She studied Provence with all the care of an actual traveler when he went. Poring over books and maps soon became poring over his letters, trying to extract every ounce of meaning.

Her mother didn't particularly approve of her fascination.

Elizabeth dared to disagree. "I should think, Mother, the Shaws have enough money to please the Tafts."

His last letter simply announced the date of his return, so she was surprised when he actually showed up on the doorstep and more surprised when he gave her the small bottle of lavender.

"From Provence." He smiled, almost apologetically.

"I love it."


	3. third impression: coy

third impression: _coy_

Both Shaws became perennial favorites at the Taft household. Mrs. Taft, reconciled perhaps by their wealth and reputation, endeavored to be cordial and granted they could be the life of the party.

Elizabeth would dance with Jim and laugh at his stories, then talk with John about his journeys until the evening turned to music or the young ladies of their circle pulled her aside to discuss the merits of this or that other fellow. She preferred to discuss the brothers.

"Surely you prefer one of them?" Mary would prod her daughter after.

But Elizabeth smiled and did not answer.


	4. fourth impression: distant

fourth impression: _distant_

She _did_ have a favorite. Elizabeth could not deny it to herself, no matter how well she hid it from her exacting and overbearing mother. She preferred John Shaw with his strong ideas and his reserved ways, but by no means did she despise Jim Shaw's company.

She frequently had him over to the Taft household in John's absences, to share afternoons, books, and letters. Both of them cared for John and a good game of cards. He made her laugh, and she made him smile.

It was good to have the one near when the other was so far.


	5. fifth impression: between

fifth impression: _between_

Jim Shaw is visiting with the Tafts, trying to charm Elizabeth's mother over a board game and failing, when John Shaw returns from his latest trip.

When the butler announces him, Elizabeth hurries out of her seat and rushes to the door, not waiting for him to be shown in. Jim follows behind her a short distance back.

John brought her flowers—and a small, reserved smile. "I know you like lavender."

"I do," Elizabeth replies. She is wearing lavender scent.

John acknowledges his brother behind her with a nod, and she suddenly realizes she is standing exactly between them.


	6. sixth impression: adventure

sixth impression: _adventure_

"Can I come with you?" Elizabeth asked before John could leave again.

"I don't have a suitable chaperone," his mouth said. His eyes said, _I don't want you with me_.

She did not understand why.

To be sure, Jim would come over and keep her company, claiming she helped during the long absences to fill the hole his brother had left.

"Tell me a story. An adventure." Elizabeth sat back to listen, hoping for something as exciting as the stories John brought back.

Jim smiled. "There once was an Indian princess..."

Neither stopped to watch her mother's mouth go flat.


	7. seventh impression: confusion

seventh impression: _confusion_

"You're leading both men on," Mary Taft frowned at her daughter through the mirror's reflection as she helped her into an evening gown.

But Elizabeth disagreed. "I am friends with both of them, Mother."

"Ladies do not have gentleman _friends_." Elizabeth gasped as Mary tightened the corset. "They have suitors." Mary eyed her daughter critically. "You do have a preference?"

It was another deciding moment, one more attempt to bridge the understanding between them. They used to be so close.

But as Elizabeth stared into the mirror, she began to wonder with growing horror whether or not she still did.


	8. eighth impression: conflict

**A/N:** So I wanted to get this fic finished off. Thank you to everyone who read, whether or not you reviewed.

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eighth impression: _conflict_

Life moved on, as it does. Rumors had Elizabeth engaged to this brother or that, but in truth, she had lately seen little of either.

When John called, as he sometimes did, he was often quite agitated, but he always managed to make her mother smile and nod politely in acceptance of his presence. When Jim called, he was also agitated, but he would settle in to make Elizabeth laugh and try and fail to please her mother. Elizabeth had no favorite, but Mary certainly did.

The only time the brothers arrived together, Elizabeth finally realized what was bothering them.


	9. ninth impression: decision

ninth impression: _decision_

It was Jim that asked her to marry him. At first she wondered why John said nothing: he neither proposed nor seemed to take any notice of his brother's proposal. Was it merely maidenly reserve that she kept Jim waiting for his answer?

She finally asked her mother, who retorted in surprise, "John Shaw is a gentleman." Of course, he wouldn't ask now.

Elizabeth had fallen in love with John's quiet, reserved manners, the little ways he showed his regard; but she had also fallen in love with Jim's stories and laughter, that Jim _wanted_ to be there with her.


	10. tenth impression: regret

tenth impression: _regret_

She would have regretted her decision either way. It didn't seem to matter to her that she had never meant to grow toward both of them, more the one than the other. It didn't matter to her that she hadn't meant to hurt them because she _had_ hurt them. The Shaw brothers had been inseparable until Elizabeth came along and came between them.

"I'm sorry," she said to John on her wedding day.

He merely smiled and wished her and Jim congratulations and best wishes.

Perhaps it really had only been her imagination that he had ever loved her back.

_~ fin ~_


End file.
